And so, we pull away from The Symphony Hall in Birmingham and say farewell to the utter carnage that is Broad St on a friday night.

I can honestly say I’ve never seen anything like it in all my days. There were at least 5 ambulances at the top of the street, just waiting for it to kick off – which it inevitably will. Gaggles of spotty youths and orange girls teetered from pub to pub, stopping only to insult the occasional police constable (who were also, strangely, either spotty or orange??)

Sodom & Gomorrah with a silly accent….

Anyway, we were out of there and on our way to much more civilised climes.

Namely, Gateshead.

What??

Oddly enough, although I originate from that part of the world, I’ve never ever been to, seen, nor really given much thought to the Sage Gateshead. Shame on me.

There it stands by the side of the Tyne Bridge, a cultural sentinel guarding against the cap sleeved T-shirted hoards threatening to cross the bridge and engulf the place in the immutable odour of CKone and regurgitated kebabs.

Built by Norman Foster and serving as the home of the Northern Sinfonia, it is another of those halls that never quite expected such musical ruffians as us to be assaulting its acoustic properties.

Having said that, the on-stage sound was nowhere near as bad as the Symphony Hall of last night and so, true professionals that we are, we cracked on.

Mick had a large contingent from Hartlepool in tonight so we were extra careful in making sure that the show would be the best that it could be. We both specially washed our leg warmers and polished our tap shoes.

We did, however, stop short of tuning up as we both felt we had taken care of the important stuff and didn’t want to overdo it before the show.

Mickey turning the water into wine….. (we bought the Cider)

After the sound check Mick went off to the pub as he seemed very concerned that his guests wouldn’t be able to find their way to the Sage, despite it being the biggest building for twenty miles around. In fact, he was so concerned for their welfare, he went a good two hours before the show started – just to make absolutely sure they got here safely.

That’s Mick. Always thinking of others….

I, on the other hand, have sadly fallen straight into that general state of torpor that usually comes after a couple of weeks on the road.

The process of breathing recycled bus air for half the time and air conditioned public building air the other half, sends your brain into a sort of low level fug which renders you exhausted, even though you haven’t actually done anything!

In my experience there are only two things which can effectively defibrillate the brain in this circumstance:

1 A brisk walk in the fresh air
2 Vodka

OK, three things…..

3 Red Bull

In the end I opted to got to bed for an hour and then administer a combination of two of the above listed items in healthy doses.

Before we knew it, it was show time and we were ready for the last show before the Live DVD which we will be filming in Manchester tomorrow.

This was our last chance to make sure that everything was running smoothly and that the whole set flowed nicely, with each song running smoothly into the next, before the whole thing was digitally captured forever on DVD (available soon in all good stores and web sites ;-)

Except, true to form, we changed it all didn’t we?

Anyway, that’s a story for tomorrow’s blog.

Tonight it was Gateshead’s turn to feel the awesome power of the optimism-fuelled mayhem that is a Lisa Stansfield show.

We were all pleasantly surprised to find out that the whole tour is virtually sold out and, if all the crowds are as up for it as the Geordies, then we’re in for a good time all round.

It took a couple of numbers but, once they got into it, the crowd were tearing the place up (that’s tear that rhymes with There, not tear that rhymes with Here)

Lisa was on form as usual and looked absolutely amazing in a new frock. In fact, it’s prompted Mick and I to wonder if we shouldn’t follow suit and perhaps buy some new socks?

After the show, we all said hello to the Hartlepool massive and once again offered our sincerest condolences to Mick’s partner Gill. There ought to be some sort of medal….

Then it was all on to the bus for the overnight drive to Manchester and the scene of the next show – which has a few little surprises to offer!

Bis Morgen…….

So, dear reader.

Finally I find the time to write another episode of, what has become the traditional road blog.

To be honest, I wasn’t going to bother at all this tour because, what with all the eating, drinking, sleeping and occasional playing we have to do, it’s difficult to find the time. However, when this was suggested, the general reaction was one of shock, horror and outrage.

Both of you said that you quite enjoyed reading them.

Sometimes…

…. and, when asked if you would miss it, instantly shrugged your shoulders and replied….

“maybe”….

And so, with that ringing endorsement, how could I possible not find the time to scrape together the usual 700 or so words of utter claptrap and half baked nonsense?

So, where to begin?

Rehearsals were the usual chaotic affair, with poor old 80s Dave pulling his hair out (good job there’s plenty of it!) trying to shepherd everyone into the rehearsal room and away from the usual round of fry-ups at the Breakout Café.

We are adding a few new tunes to the set for this tour, some of which we did on the European tour in May/June and some of which are old favourites making a comeback.

There’s even a completely new, never before heard song which we literally only recorded a few weeks ago. I think it may be the new single so its one to watch out for.

Whichever way you look at it, we needed to get in there and get our heads down and rehearse.

Which we didn’t…..

To be honest, it doesn’t matter how much rehearsing we do, the first night of the tour is always a little bit nervy. Did we decide on the short ending or the long one? What happens at the end of “The Rain” (other than the brass players blacking out)?Were we REALLY listening when Dave ran through the links between songs?

Well folks, it would appear that we….

… WERE listening after all, as the opening show of the tour at the Symphony Hall in Birmingham, went off without a hitch. In fact, I would go as far as to say it was a cracker!

Before the show I met up with Ian Davies, an old school chum who I had reconnected with a few weeks ago after almost 40 years. Ian and his lovely wife Pauline were in Birmingham for the British Open Brass Band championships which were on in the same hall the following day and they came along to the show just to confirm that my playing had shown very little progress in the intervening decades.

It was great to catch up with them and they even came along to the soundcheck especially to watch me moan about the on-stage sound.

Ian & Pauline at the soundcheck

So, yesterday’s blog saw us parked outside the amazing Circus Krone, one of only a handful of permanent circus venues in Europe.

Putting aside what you may or may not feel about animals in the circus (I, myself am strongly against) it is still the most fascinating place you could ever get the chance to explore.

In the summer the circus is out on the road and only uses this building as its winter base – hence the Lisa Stansfield Circus’ playing there – but, even with everyone gone, it is still a very evocative and strange place.In the summer, whilst the whole shooting match is travelling, they take the opportunity to repair and decorate the buildings and so, before the soundcheck we were able to wander around – through the Lion pens and Tiger cages, the stables and the Hippo enclosure (although Mr Pottamus was still in residence, having been rested for the tour).

The sights and smells are just unbelievable and, even though they themselves are hundreds of miles away, the smell of the Lion pens still managed to strike fear into the heart. I still shudder now, even at the thought.

As I said, I’m strongly against wild animals in captivity but I guess it was some consolation to see the care and attention that was being taken with their accommodation and indeed the hi-tech medical facilities they had on site.

The run where the Lions & Tigers come down into the arena

Stables

Big cat pens

Anyway, after the tour of the estate it was time to do some work.

The show takes place in the circus ring and what a grand and theatrical setting it is. Maybe it’s redolent of the idea of running away with the circus, but somehow this show feels a little more glamorous and exciting than the others.
Sound check over, we got right in to the usual pursuit and, much as I was raving about the food yesterday in Cologne, this was out of this world. The chef had the absolute bare minimum of facilities and even less space but somehow he managed to create what was by a country mile the best dinner of the tour so far.

Tender Beef in an onion and balsamic sauce with dauphinoise potatoes and broccoli or Lamb Kebabs with Rice and roasted vegetables.

Plus…..

CHOCOLATE PROFITEROLES!!!

They had to wheel me to the bus for my post-prandial lie down.

The show itself was another corker!

After her struggle with Hay Fever yesterday, Lisa had been to the doctor and he prescribed some amazing medicine which certainly did the trick.

She was absolutely on fire and I think this was easily as good a show as Paris, if not possibly better.

After the show we had a relatively short (3 hours) drive to Stuttgart and a day off.

To be honest, I personally would rather be playing than have a day off but then again, ask any member of the crew and they would say that that was probably because I don’t really do any actual work on the days on!

They have a point.

We swan up at 4.00pm, play for an hour, moan about stuff and then tittle off until the evening when we put in an arduous 90 minute shift of drinking, dancing and generally fannying about on stage.

Those guys have been at it all day putting stuff up, making it work and then pulling it all back down again.

So, they deserve a day off, even if we don’t.

Next morning when we all crawled out of our bunks and checked in to the hotel, we agreed to liaise in the afternoon and make a plan for social activity.

Later that afternoon I was in my room attending to some business when Super Sooze texted me to say that some genius had suggested a BBQ and we were meeting at the bus at 5.00pm.

The venue and the hotel were next door to each other and the bus was parked between the two so we set up the grills beside the bus and got cracking.

It has to be said that Mickey came into his own in the presence of charcoal. Even though he was a tiny bit worse for wear, having been in the bar planning it since midday, his chefery was absolutely outstanding. What Mick can’t do with a sausage and a pair of tongs isn’t worth doing!

Several thousand calories later and the emptying of the last bottle of champagne was my cue to leave and get back to the room to carry on working.

I’m not sure exactly what happened in between but, at 2.00am there was a commotion outside my room and I went out, to be greeted rather effusively, by two of the band.

I say two of the band. I knew that’s what they were, but they had no idea. They quite clearly hadn’t the faintest clue who, what, how nor where they were.

I won’t name names but Party A was attempting to get Party B back to his room but it was definitely the blind leading the blind.

Blind drunk that is!

Luckily I had a rooming list and was able to see them both back safely.

They may need to return the favour one day……

Post show high spirits

Last night’s ‘quick’ pre-bed bath turned into a bit of a marathon soak I’m afraid, with several hot water top ups and the chapters dropping like flies. The upshot of which was lights out at 3.00am

Johnny whacks off another chapter

Next morning rendezvous was at 12.00 in the lobby from where we were taken to the venue – Theater Am Tanzbrunnen, a rather unusual affair in the middle of a park.

The theatre is a sort of hybrid design, somewhere between tent and dome, with a roof which looks like the canvas roof of a large marquee but which is actually made of steel.

Lovely, reflecty, rotten acousticy steel. Looking forward to tonight!

Theater Am Tanzbrunnen – German for “Great big tin can”

Sound Check: Snowboy enjoys the acoustics

As it was only a few minutes from the hotel to the venue we had a fair bit of time to kill before soundcheck at 4.00pm so we filled it in the usual fashion.

Eating.

Back in the day when I was touring with Level 42, we used to carry our own caterers with us. Everywhere we went, the lovely Alison would take care of us and make sure we had all the favourite foods we liked.

At each location the crew would unpack and repack cookers, fridges and all manner of appliances necessary for catering to the whims of a coterie of spoiled musicians.

These days that seems like extravagance bordering on madness. It surely can’t be that hard to find a decent caterer in the major cities of Europe, can it?

So far on this tour, the standard of local caterer has been generally high – with the odd exception – and in some cases, exceptional!

Zurich particularly was a high point, as was today here in Cologne. Lunch was Tomato and Coconut soup, followed by Pasta something-or-other but Dinner was the most beautifully tender Roast Beef with Roast Potatoes and sautéed vegetables.

It was absolutely delicious and I’m sure I got through close on half a herd before finally admitting defeat and retiring for a lie down.

Mick fine tunes the mix in his monitor…..

Mick discusses the finer points of something or other…….

The show was as expected really. The sound was pretty difficult and it was very hard to hear anything on stage with any kind of clarity. Walter (Front of House sound) and Meado (Monitors) are, to my mind, the best in the business and without their expert knob twiddling (ooh,er missus) things could have been much worse.

Poor Lisa was suffering from a very bad bout of Hay Fever which was making the high notes difficult but, as usual, she just pushed through it and is always focused on giving the best show possible for the audience. Judging from the audience reaction, they didn’t notice a thing, even if we knew she was struggling a little.

A trip to the doctor tomorrow in Munich will hopefully help sort it out.

After the show, we had a 9 hour overnight drive to Munich so plenty of time for post show celebration/recrimination/ambivalence (delete as appropriate) and a decent night’s sleep to boot.
On the subject of sleep. We have ‘Temperature-gate’

Poor old Andrea is struggling a little with the temperature in the rear bunk room (the quiet, fragrant one you may recall). It would seem that the only way she can get comfortable is if the thermostat is turned up to ‘Hotter than the Sun’ – which is great when you go to bed but means that the rest of us spend the night dreaming of the Kalahari and wake up looking and feeling like the mummy of Tutankhamun. And I don’t mean his father’s wife.

So, there has been much experimentation with the thermostat, which has been up and down like a bride’s nightie. The whole affair has, however, culminated in some spectacular ad hoc modifications to Andrea’s bunk. A spare duvet, some heavy duty gaffer tape and a determined mind have turned her bunk into what can only be described as a miniature Sangatte, with barely the tiniest chink through which precious heat can escape!

This, my friends, is determination on a different level.

Hibernating bears go to less trouble………

So, with Andrea hermetically sealed into her bunk, the rest of us either drank, watched a movie, talked shit or a combination of all of the above until they could take no more and climbed into their respective bunks.

Next thing you know, we are parked outside the wonderful Circus Krone in Munich – a real, permanent working circus where we will be bringing our particular brand of thrills and spills tonight.

Send in the clowns…….

Favouritism…….

No paparazzi…….

10 o’clock Monday morning and the alarm goes off.

Right off!!

So off, in fact, that next thing I know it’s 11.30 and I don’t know if I’m Arthur or Martha.

I’m sure Bremen is a lovely town. In fact, the bit between the hotel and the Irish pub yesterday was delightful. But sadly, that was all I was destined to see.

By the time I had showered, shaved and gathered all of my possessions – which were scattered around the room as though I had just held a jumble sale – it was time to leave for the venue.

Today’s venue was a municipal theatre, which was rather imaginatively called “The Musical Theatre”. They must have been up all night thinking of that one!

It was another seated venue but at least it felt like the audience were in the same room, so we held out hope that it would be a good one.

Soundcheck took longer than usual as we wanted to try out some different endings to the show. The closing number of the main set is power ballad “The Rain” and it’s perfect as it has a great big, thundering ending with everything but the kitchen sink chucked in.

However, the past couple of shows we have felt a little uncomfortable at the timing of the end as Lisa walks off. Either we were finished before she was completely off stage or she was off and halfway through her second pint and we were still going for it.

So, we decided to experiment with some different endings to give us more flexibility and to help get the timing perfect.

Seemed like a great idea at the time……..

Anyway, show time came around and, as it was the third night in a row, Lisa was a little concerned that her voice might be a bit under par. However, as usual she delivered the goods and the audience were really rocking.

A great show was rounded off by the glorious sound of the new experimental endings.

All of them….

All together….

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the end of the show sounded like a fire in a pet shop, with 3 different endings all competing against each other and all of the protagonists insisting they were right.

Thank god it wasn’t being recorded! Somehow, we managed to get sort of in sync and finish roughly together but it wasn’t pretty, I can tell you.

In actual fact, I spoke to a fan after the show who said that he didn’t notice anything so, either I’m making a mountain out of a molehill or he went to a different gig?
After the show was a 6 hour drive to Amsterdam so we pushed off around 1.00am and I went straight to my bunk.

Got up at 4.15 am to pay a visit to the little boy’s room and Lisa, Ian, Walter and Andrea were still up drinking red wine and talking absolute bollocks!

Good job tomorrow’s a day off again!

Next thing I know, it’s 10.00am and we are parked outside the venue with the hotel a mere 2 minutes walk away.

As we were early for check in, not all of our rooms were ready but by 11.30 or so, I had my key and was – surprise, surprise – running a bath.

A day off in Amsterdam is something to relish as there is so much to see and do there. The new Rijksmuseum, the Van Gogh museum plus just walking around taking in the lovely relaxed vibe of the place.

Outside of Andrea, who had several episodes of Coronation Street to watch, the band and crew divided into two camps: Cultural and, shall we say, counter-cultural.

Museum or coffee shop…..

I had a good wander around the old city which has a special feeling for me and it was one of those tour days when I wished my wife was with me. However, sadly she wasn’t so I had to make do with spending time in a second hand record shop with Snowboy.

Much as I love him, he was a poor substitute!

As we walked in to Wax Well Records, the proprietor recognised Snowboy straight away (he’s also a famous DJ, as well as a world renowned pan clatterer) and they were off on an unintelligible train of music trivia and minutiae.

After an hour, I lost the will to live and branched out on my own, getting back to the hotel with just enough time for another bath before heading out for a quick drink and a curry at the now traditional Akbar restaurant with the guys.

Once we had eaten our own weight in Indian food – except Mike the bus driver and Tony the truck driver, who both wildly underestimated the XXXXXX rating of Dutch Vindaloo – the two factions split again, with Snowboy, 80s Dave and I heading back to the hotel and the others disappearing into the night and who knows what?

Just time for – you guessed it – the 3rd bath of the day and I’m in bed and starting my new book.

I’m SO rock and roll……….

Help……..

Mickey, the Sax player, prepares for the show……

On days when we are in and out with two overnighters back to back, it makes sense to just camp up at the venue rather than schlep backwards and forwards to and from a hotel. This was a nice modern venue with good dressing rooms and showers so that’s what we did.

It’s actually rather convenient and means that the vital locations of the day – stage, dressing room, catering and bunk – are all within a couple of minutes walk of each other.

The day started well with a good old fry up and a couple of strong coffees and I was ready to take on the world.

The venue – The Congress Centre – was a modern place with big, wide, comfortable seats and a steep rake to the auditorium. It was a beautiful building with lovely acoustics and I’m sure very comfortable for the audience but, if I’m honest, we kind of knew that the atmosphere at the gig would be a little flat and reserved. It’s almost always the case that the more comfy the seats, the less involved the audience gets and that rule certainly held that evening.

The comfy seat syndrome was also exacerbated by the fact that the stage was huge and the front row was a corporation bus ride away.

And so, we awoke early in the morning already parked outside the venue in Hamburg.

A brass eye view (if you’ll pardon the expression!)

This is why we all much prefer playing in clubs as the vibe is always so much better. As the audience are all standing, none of them has to feel conscious about blocking the view of someone sitting behind them. They’re all in the same boat and it doesn’t take much to get it rocking!

Anyway, it’s not our job to moan about the conditions – as good at is as we are – but rather to crack on and give every show 100% for the sake of the people who have paid good money to see Lisa – seated or not.

After breakfast we all filled in the time with our own stuff – emails, Facebook etc. and before we knew it it was lunch time.

One of the down sides of touring as a band member (and there aren’t many, I admit) is the fact that there are often sizeable chunks of time to be filled. There is a famous quote from Rolling Stones drummer Charlie Watts on the occasion of the 25th Anniversary of the band who, when asked how he would sum up 25 years of the Rolling Stones replied “5 years playing and 20 years hanging around”. That will certainly resonate with anyone who has toured for more than a few weeks at a time.

Unfortunately, one of the ways in which you fill the time is by eating and, given there is food everywhere – catering, in the dressing room, on the bus – it sometimes feels like I regularly eat my own body weight in Bountys.

As the venue was pretty central, after lunch Mick and I had a walk into town for a look around.

As a city named after fast food it’s a very pleasant place and we had a good look around, I bought some shoes and then we had a coffee by the lakeside and watched the world go by.

Come to think of it there are a number of food themed cities in Germany, all of which are very beautiful places. Hamburg, Frankfurt, the Black Forest, Vienna (ok, that’s Austria but….. hey).

In the UK, of course, we have Eccles, Pontefract, Dundee.

Ah, well….. perhaps not.

Ich bin ein Hamburger

Sightseeing done, we headed back to the venue for the soundcheck and my traditional pre-show zzzz and before we knew it we were at the side of the stage ready to go on.

As expected, the audience were a little muted at first but Lisa always manages to get them up on their feet and rocking. With typical teutonic efficiency however, the stewards shepherded the party animals who had come to the front back to their seats but, each time within a couple of minutes Lisa had them back again and this game of musical chairs (?) went on for half the show until the stewards gave up.

So, after another great show we were all in high spirits and looking for some mischief – particularly as the next day was a day off.

We were driving overnight to Bremen but we couldn’t leave until 1.00am – something to do with the driver’s hours – so we all ended up in the hotel bar next door telling stories, watching Eurovision and steadily emptying our wallets.

At the appointed hour, our trusty bus pulled away from the venue and things had already started to get messy.

By the time we arrived in Bremen, there were many casualties and it was clear that checking in to the hotel was a non starter. So, it was our bunks as usual and every man for himself the next morning.

A day off in Bremen loomed so no-one was up particularly early but, by midday-ish most people had checked in.

For football fans today was a big day – particularly for Mike the bus driver, Sooze our mum and Walter the tour manager, as they are all Liverpool fans and they were still clinging desperately on to the forlorn hope that the stars would align, West Ham would suddenly become any good and they would not have squandered the best chance they have had in 20 odd years to win the League.

As a staunch Wycombe Wanderers fan whose league position had been secured by only the frailest of margins a couple of weeks before, I was mildly ambivalent as to the outcome – although I think it would have been nice for Liverpool to win. However, for the sake of team spirit, I agreed to go with them all to the nearest Irish Pub (every city has an Irish Pub) to watch the game.

Once the inevitable had happened, it was back to the hotel for some food and then to finish my book (in the bath, of course).

Bus driver and Liverpool fan Mike contemplates what might have been…….

A nice early night in theory, turned into a late one as I was intent on learning the eventual fate of the eponymous Stoner in the classic John Williams novel. (not much, is the answer)

Lights out at 3.10am and alarm set for 10.00am.

Now that’s what I call a schedule………

We arrived in Frankfurt nice and early after a very cheerful overnight drive. It’s always good to get the first show under your belt and, given there weren’t too many hiccups, most people let off any pent up steam through the medium of drink.

Bed times ranged anywhere from 2.00 am to 5.00 am, with the exponents of the latter proving very unpopular with the former the next morning!

We dropped the poor old crew off at the venue around 10.00 am to get started with the set up and the band headed off to the Intercontinental to check in and do whatever each of us does with our free time.

Me, I like to work. Catch up on emails, documents and generally take care of any business that needs to be taken care of. Others have a much more relaxed attitude.

Andrea, for example, will head to her room, lock the door (only to be opened for room service) and watch the omnibus editions of just about every soap under the sun.

Mick plays Candy Bloody Crush

Each to their own, I guess.

The show tonight is an early start – 8.00pm on stage for us – so by the time I had finished up my stuff, had a bath and read my book a little, it was time to head off for sound check.

Rock ‘n Roll.

The venue was a beautiful old and typically germanic Rathaus which, whilst being a fascinating setting, offered one of the smallest stages of the tour. Not a problem per se except that it severely restricted the brass section’s dance moves.

The flick flacks were definitely out tonight!

Nice Hall, tiny stage……..

Plenty of space in the dressing room though…….

I guess we weren’t fully aware of how nervous we all were on the first night in Zurich because, with that out of the way and everyone feeling much more relaxed, tonight’s show was a different kettle of fish altogether.

From out of the blocks we were all gunning for it and the crowd were absolutely up for a party too. It was one of those amazing nights which leave you buzzing at the end. The whole room was going to have fun and NOTHING was going to stop them.

At the soundcheck we had made a couple of small changes to the set but no-one let this hold them back and, if there were any wobbly bits, I certainly didn’t notice them. I was too busy enjoying myself.

I can always tell when I’ve really enjoyed a gig because afterwards it feels like my top lip has just gone 15 rounds with Mike Tyson.

When you play the trumpet the idea is to be controlled at all times, with a relaxed demeanour, focusing all of the energy you create with the air down the mouthpiece of the trumpet. At no point should you be tense and you should certainly never be applying undue pressure to the instrument on the lips.

Then you have a few drinks and the audience start screaming and you just jam it on as hard as you can and blow like hell!

It’s a tried and tested system.

Once again, Lisa was on top form. I know it gets a little boring saying that but it’s absolutely true. She’s always on form!

As you might imagine, post gig was buzzing as we headed back to the hotel to have a couple of hours relaxation before jumping on the bus to head overnight to Hamburg.

Back in the bath with the book for Johnny Boy (they didn’t used to call me marine boy for nothing) whilst the usual suspects headed for the bar for a night cap.

Highlight of the evening was most definitely Andrea, who spent a lot of time on the bus trip swearing that she doesn’t really drink.

Sadly she had been well and truly Donnellied* and no amount of liquorice tea was going to sober her up. I think the toasted crumpets we made helped a little but when I went to bed around 2.00am she was still utterly incoherent.
And so, dear reader, to Hamburg………..

* Donnellied  Adj. to make the mistake of going to a bar which sells cocktails with Mickey Donnelly.

The thing is, I don’t normally drink…………

I can never resist a wig…………

And so, with a mixture of relief, excitement and a little trepidation, we took to the stage for the first gig of the tour.

It had seemed like quite a long day which, given we had been at the venue since 10.00 am, I suppose it had. The overnight journey had been pretty uneventful with everyone hitting the sack quite early so as to at least start the tour strong.

Of course, for the crew guys, the first show is quiet a big day as they have to get everything set up and are more often than not having to work with equipment which is not necessarily what they asked for in a space which is not necessarily optimal.

However, experienced pros as they are, they just crack on and get it done, seamlessly making sure that, once the lazy-arsed band arrive, they have nothing to whinge about (although we still try!)

In the afternoon we all in the band had a series of interviews with Bev Nathan who runs the web site and, as they were all done individually, it was a little like shepherding cats, with people coming and going all at the wrong time and the hours filled with either too many people waiting, or no-one at all.

I’m still not sure that she managed to catch everyone but soon enough it was time for us to do some actual work!

(tonights venue) Volkshaus - Zurich

Micky being interviewed by Bev Nathan

Sound check was a little longer than usual as we wanted to run through some of the bits of the set which we weren’t 100% sure of and, believe it or not, we made some MORE changes to the arrangements – just to make sure no-one felt they had it under control.

Once that was out of the way it was all up to catering for dinner before we all disappeared off to indulge in our individual pre-gig routines.

Snowboy likes to go to the TV room and watch some 1950s classic TV box set, 80s Dave likes to get the mullet in order and Mickey likes to play Candy Bloody Crush!!

Me. I like to crawl into my bunk and have a little siesta.

Alarm set for 8.15pm sees me up with just enough time to get washed and dressed in time for the 15 minute call when Michael and I break open the Vodka and Red Bull and prepare our pre-show pick-me-up.

For a first show of the tour, I think it all went pretty well really. There were inevitably a couple of wobbly moments but somehow the wheels stayed on and we made it through without too many mishaps.

Lisa was on form (as ever) and a big shout out to Terry who, despite having done a number of TV shows with us over the past few months, was on his first actual live show. He did an amazing job and was not in the least put off by the dazzling footwork of the brass team.

Post show there was much relief and a considerable amount of celebration before we all climbed on the bus for the (fairly short) trip to Frankfurt and the second show.

It’s always nice to get the first show out of the way and we can now hopefully all relax and start to really enjoy the trip……

Lisa Stansfield European Tour 2014 – Full Band Rehearsals: Day 2 Posted on May 7, 2014

You know when you get everything all worked out so that you all know what tunes run into what and you’ve figured out musical links between the songs so that there are as few uncomfortable silences as possible. And all of the electronic equipment has been programmed to change the keyboard sounds automatically for the next song so no-one has to worry about it.

Then someone says “I’ve got a good idea…..”

That.

And so it was that, after a couple of days of intense rehearsal, we decided to completely switch it all around during the very last run through. A complete turn around at 4.30pm on the last afternoon of rehearsals. That’s how we like it, mate. On the edge. There are now so many variations of set list floating around I think we’re going to have to have a bonfire to make sure that we don’t all start playing different tunes during the set.

I must say, I do think the new order is an improvement but if I’m completely honest I don’t think any of us are absolutely 100% sure of what comes next at any given point. Plus ça change.

If nothing else, Zurich should be interesting.

To be fair, we do have a 16 hour bus trip to go through it and make sure we’re all on the same page. Literally.

I was feeling much more comfortable with the new trumpet today and I think all in all it’s going to be an improvement.

To elucidate. Most brass players spend a lifetime (and lots of money) searching for the ultimate instrument. The one which will make playing an absolute breeze. The perfect trumpet which is completely in tune, easy to play and never makes a mistake! The Holy Grail. The Golden Chalice. Gabriel’s Horn!!

Not me.

I have used the same trumpet and mouthpiece for my entire professional career. I bought it from a bloke in the Isle of Man for £120 in about 1876 and I figured I should learn to play it properly before I bought an expensive one. I’m still operating under that principle.

Over the years it has been bashed and banged. Painted white (Halfords Vauxhall Viva White, no less). Stripped with Nitromors. Dropped. Left on several trains. Been on two honeymoons and soldered to the point where there’s probably more solder than trumpet. But still she soldiers on! (solder/soldier – geddit?)

Oh, I’ve been given dozens of trumpets from various manufacturers over the years but none of them have come close to matching my old Getzen.

John Thirkell - "Would you believe it, last week I located a1968 Doc Severinsen Model Getzen Eterna !! All spruced up, relacquered and looking for all the world like a beauty queen"

For that is what she is: A 1968 Doc Severinsen Model Getzen Eterna. They certainly knew how to make them in those days. Unfortunately, they didn’t know how to make them in large numbers …. because I’m the only person I know who plays one and I don’t believe I’ve ever come across another trumpeter in my entire life who plays or even owns one.

Hang on. Maybe there’s a reason for that…..?

Anyway, as you can imagine it was a very sad day for me when the brass repair shop refused to take on the job of renovating it, claiming that once it had been dismantled, they would probably never manage to remantle it. “Put her out to graze” they said. “It’s time to retire the old girl” they said.

Time to sell me a new one they meant!

She’s an old friend who has been through a lot with me. Several times around the world with everyone from Jamiroquai to Bon Jovi via Tina Turner and Buddy Rich and the things she’s seen would make your toes curl!

So, it was with a heavy heart that I decided to take their advice and get a new one.

But not from them….. ;-)

Now this is where the internet is just such an amazing, transformational thing. I started the search only a couple of months ago and would you believe it, last week I located a…..

1968 Doc Severinsen Model Getzen Eterna !! All spruced up, relacquered and looking for all the world like a beauty queen.
So, in a supreme leap of faith, I coughed up and had it shipped express from Fort Myers, Florida and it arrived the day before rehearsals started.

I was a bit nervous to be honest as, even in the same make, model and year of instrument, there can be huge variations in sound and feel but I needn’t have worried. In fact, now that I’ve been playing this new one for a couple of days, I’m pretty sure the old one had so many leaks it’s been like playing a colander for the past 10 years!

Having said that, I’m still taking the old girl along for old time’s sake and I’ll play at least one tune on her. I can’t abandon her totally after all these years of faithful service now  can I?

(Keep upto date with Johnny Thirkell's Tour blog and all the shenanigans along the way...)

And so.
Here I am on the 22:12 to Aylesbury Vale Parkway calling at various Chiltern beauty spots en route to Great Missenden – my local station – not a little worse for wear but with a (low carbohydrate) Cornish Pasty for company.

It’s been a good day. A day full of laughter, trepidation, concentration, frustration, argument, tomfoolery and general lack of focus but, most of all, a sense of great excitement that we are all back together and about to embark on a 5 week adventure taking in most major European countries in the name of entertainment.

Over the past few days there have been rehearsals involving individual sections of the band – the rhythm section started last Thursday and I think Andrea was in yesterday – but today was the first day we were all together trying to a) remember what we did on the old tunes and b) work out what we are going to do on the new tunes.

Under the tutelage and stewardship of our esteemed Musical Director, 80s Dave, we have rehashed, amended and improved much of the set so that, if you make it to any of the shows, you will hear not only tunes from the new album but also revamped versions of some of the older songs.

Of course, there are some songs which it would be sacrilege to alter – and some which it wouldn't, but we can’t be arsed to, so I think generally we will have a set which should keep everyone happy – old fans and new.

It’s at this point in the rehearsal procedure that all of the creative ideas that 80s Dave and the rhythm section have had over the past few days get trashed by Ian, Mickey and I on account of being way too hard to play and we revert to how it used to be ‘back in the day’.

To be honest, they have come up with some cracking variations on the old songs and I think the great discerning public will enjoy them a lot. However, if you see Mick and I scrabbling round on the floor as if we are hunting down an errant contact lens, it’s because we’ve come to a hard bit which we can’t possible play whilst maintaining the usual high standard of fancy footwork.

The actual contents of the final set list are absolutely top secret and, were I to accidentally reveal them, I would be forced to kill both of you (assuming you have both made it this far).

Suffice to say there is a good mix of old and new, obvious and left-field, fast & slow, quiet and loud.

The general mood was one of positivity in the face of a dreadful racket but I’m sure that, by the time we climb on the bus to head to Zurich on Wednesday, we will all be feeling much more confident in what we are doing.

There’s quite a bit more singing for me to do this time around but that’s OK with me – I enjoy it, partly because it hurts much less than blowing down a tube.

After the band rehearsal Mick, Lisa, Ian and I retired to the Caledonian Arms to talk through the more tricky dance moves and to arrange for the leg warmers to be collected from our team of expert, ninja dry cleaners.

The new trumpet held up quite well – although, after 35 years playing the old one, it was a little disconcerting to say the least but….. more on that tomorrow.

In the meantime, I must sign off otherwise there won’t be enough time for me to nod off and miss my station.

A bientôt……

J x